Well, kind of. I am a survivor of rape. But today is not the day that I will tell my story. However, I want my voice to be heard in what ever way possible. So I will begin documenting my life as a survivor. Thoughts, feelings or whatever comes to mind. I want to write it all here. I’ve been wanting to do this for months but I just built up the courage to do it. So here it goes…
It has been 8 months since it happened.
Saying that sounds so bizarre. A part of me feels like this happened yesterday. The fear, betrayal and hopelessness of it all. It all still seems so new and fresh in my mind. while the other part feels like it’s not real or like it never even happened and this is all just a dream.
I wish it was just a dream.
But it happened and I can’t change that. I can’t go back to that night and take it all back. So here I am, fighting back. It has taken me 8 months to talk about this, and it was not easy. It has taken 8 months of therapy to make a dent in the emotional devastation and trauma I endured that night. My therapist told me I would never fully heal. That it’ll always be lurking in the corner or my mind, but the goal is to silence it. To learn how to live with the monster in the corner. To accept that it’s there and keep on living your life.
And that is what I’ll do.
If you or anyone you know is a victim of sexual assault / rape, just know that you’re not alone. Tell someone you trust, whether it be a family member, teacher, friend or therapist. Go get help. Because you are strong and you can get through this even though it seems impossible. It is possible, I promise ❤