Everywhere I look, I see my rapist.

It’s been almost a year since I was raped. Time has moved so quickly, it weird to think that its been so long, yet it’s still so recent.

In this year, I’ve meet my current boyfriend. We’ve been together for 7 months and those 7 months have been absolutely incredible.

But somehow I still see my rapist everywhere I go. I see him on my college campus, I see him at the grocery store, I see him just walking down the street. But he isn’t there. I haven’t actually seen him since the attack, last October…

So why am i seeing him everywhere?

The mind is an interesting thing. You might think you’ve “moved past” a situation. You’re life could now be picture perfect, couldn’t be happier but deep down, in reality, you’re still dealing with the trauma.

It’s debilitating in a sense.

When i see “him” from a distance, my heart starts to race, I feel sick to my stomach and I feel frozen with fear until I get close enough to see that it’s not him. It makes going out difficult sometimes because I hate dealing with the fear and anxiety of seeing him again.

It takes a toll…

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